I WISH YOU WERE A FLY ON THE WALL TODAY

I have had the biggest silliest grin on my face today. I cannot stop giggling. If you had any idea what happened to me today. I cannot stop laughing. I have to tell this but I don't know if I can do it justice. For Christmas, I got a giftcard to the Malai Day Spa down the road. I have been so excited to use it. They were having a special on one-hour massages so I decided to get a babysitter and take advantage of it. I have been SOOO in need of a massage lately. I haven't slept well lately, I wake up and feel like I've been hit by a train, and my neck and back have been stressed and tired. It was definitely time. So I call them to schedule an appt. and ask if they use massage oils and essential oils with massages because I like the smelly stuff. It makes me feel relaxed. They said that this lady was really good, her schedule is always full, and that she uses oils all the time. GREAT!! I show up and this little japanese lady greets me with her sweet smile. First off, you know those ladies that wear very noticeable lipliner on the "outsides" of their lips? Well, she was one of them. She takes me in the room with two massage tables and a mattress on the floor with a black sheet. With broken English she asks me where my pain is. I mention that I have major lower back pain and my neck and shoulders are hurting. She tells me to lay down on the black mattress......well to make a long long story short. For 1 hour.....I got thrashed! I kept my clothes on the whole time and this little lady proceeds to knead around my spine and dig into my shoulers, neck, and back. She was a little monkey climbing all over me. She used no massage oil so it felt like an "indian burn" as she gouges around my neck and shoulders. I had my head facing the mattress and my eyes were open the whole time confused. To be honest I was a little stunned. I know that I was in an Thai Day spa but I figured it was a regular massage or at least they would give me the option. She then proceed to maneuver my body in ways I never thought possible. ....see pictures below. These are half of the moves that were pulled on me today....I'm not joking. I thought at first that she would sort of work my back muscles and then proceed on with a regular massage. Uhmmmm no! On one of the "moves" I started to giggle cuz it was so "foreign" and I couldn't stop laughing cuz I could only imagine what this looked like and I wished someone was there to see this. After an hour, with a few massage tapping and karate chopping....we finish! I LEFT in more pain than I came in. Not to mention I have LOWER BACK pain...see pictures below! I know I should have said something but with broken English, this was extremely awkward. AnywayZZZ I've been laughing all night. I sort of feel ...violated or something. I was going to tell the receptionist that I wasn't expecting this or ...something but as I walked up to her the lady is standing right there with a huge grin on her face. I couldn't do it. SO AWKWARD.! After a little research I guess this is what you call a Thai massage. Well Everyone. I would NOT recommend...especially if you have lower back issues. Evan came home and I couldn't stop laughing as I was trying to show him the "moves." It did make up for a funny awkward experience though...which typically are my favorite things in life. Thanks Renee laughing with me today! So what do you think people? Do I call and "complain" or just go on with my life and never set foot in that spa again?